Easy and Healthy Muffins

Hello, Mammals! And welcome to my official Muffin Day!
Let me show a trick how to be a sweet tooth with a perfectly fit body. The muffins that you’re about to enjoy are absolutely fat free! There is NO sugar, NO flour and they are still devil-iciously tasty! More over! You don’t need to be a chef or look for some extraordinary ingredients that you don’t even know how to pronounce. So…
for this epic occasion all you need is:
1. someone who cooks better than me (that will be quite easy to find, I swear)
2. a kitchen (obviously)
3. 3 eggs
4. 8 big spoons of bran
5. cottage cheese (1%)
6. raisins (or any berries you like actually)
7. cinnamon (if you like)

First what you need to do is to make a little “bath” for you raisins and leave them in a hot water for about 1 hour or even more if you feel like (or if you simply forgot about them, it’s not a crime anyway). They will absorb the water and become “fatter”, bigger, nicer, tastier.
And warm up your oven. But don’t forget it as you can forget about your raisins.
Meanwhile everything is bathing or warming, you take a deep breath and a bowl and add there 8 sp of bran+1 big sp of cinnamon+3 eggs WITHOUT white!
The white you’ll whisk separately from the eggs and it will be the last ingredient that you add in your bowl. You need it to help your art of cookery rise (hopefully not from ashes).
Then add the cottage cheese and carefully mix everything together with a simple spoon, you don’t have to use the mixer.
Finally add the raisins or anything you like (it can be chocolate, but it won’t be that fat free then), mix and pour the white. Don’t overmix it! Eggs don’t like it. Capricious bitches.
Oil your backing cups, fill them with the magic mixture of mentioned above products and go and get lost for about 1 hour. Then come. Take everything out. Applaud yourself or jump around the kitchen celebrating your victory over Lazy-Ass-Sofa-Lying-Bitches and Enjoy your piece of art.
I am going to test my creation on my beloved friends.